Many rumors abound regarding Gayngs and their first album, Relayted. Is it true that the band consists of over 20 members, including Bon Iver and P.O.S.? Were all the songs on the album really written at 69 bpm? Well, yes: those rumors are true, and they'll probably inspire many people to give the album a listen, if only out of curiosity. But does the combination of these novelties lead to a good album? The answer is a bit unclear.

One other much-discussed fact about Gayngs is that their sound is more-or-less fully inspired by 70s soft-rock band 10cc—one of the songs here, “Cry,” is even a cover of a 10cc song. Okay. I mean, I had never heard of 10cc before reading up on Gayngs, and I somehow doubt most people reading and writing about Gayngs were also fans before the band explained their 10cc obsession, so one would think reading reviews that make those comparisons would be somewhat useless. To provide a more contemporary reference point, the album shares some similarities with Lovage's Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By. Both albums feature songs with slow tempos and try to accomplish the obvious goal of sound-tracking steamy lovemaking sessions. But while Lovage pulls off the sultry, sexy sound they set out to create, most of Relayted falls completely flat.

Indeed, thanks to its slow tempo and smooth sounds, the music on Relayted has been dubbed 'baby-making music.' Unfortunately, slow tempos aren't all that make an album sexy—the ability to not make listeners laugh or groan in disgust or horror is also key. The ridiculous vocals and synth lines of 10cc cover “Cry” will totally ruin any sort of good vibes previously present in your bedroom, and the super-schmaltzy sax solos on songs like “No Sweat” aren't going to set any hearts on fire. Even more annoying are the songs that are almost excellent, but, thanks to one or two unappealing features, are a chore to listen to. This is most true on “Ride,” which starts with a sexy, pounding beat that eventually gets overshadowed by absurd 80s synth lines. The immediate reaction to those synths is to just tune the song out, which is probably not the reaction Gayngs were trying to elicit.

However, the album's certainly not all bad. In fact, it starts off very promisingly with “The Gaudy Side of Town.” This opening track has an amazing beat and high-flying chorus, and unlike “Ride,” the aforementioned cheesy sax and synth lines never detract from the overall quality of the song. Also, the middle portion of the album, mainly “False Bottom” and “The Beatdown,” lend some interesting experimental touches to the album. However, the sillier moments present throughout the majority of the album are so cringe-inducing that listening to Relayted in its entirety can be challenging. The occasional good or interesting tracks aren't worth the headache of the Delilah-esque adult comtemporary garbage present on much of the album, most notably on “The Last Prom on Earth.” With its falsettos and Barry White-esque talkdown, it's easy to envision a future where Delilah coos over the airwaves: “Matt from Phoenix would like to dedicate “The Last Prom on Earth” by Gayngs to his beautiful girlfriend Ashley.”

So maybe you like sax solos and 80s synths, and if so you might actually really dig this albm. That's part of the problem with reviewing an album like Relayted—how can one judge an album objectively when so much of it just rubs them the wrong way? Obviously Gayngs are hitting the right notes with many fans; their upcoming tour is selling out and the band can count such esteemed fans as Prince among their fanbase. But personally, the appeal of the album is totally lost on me and I'm happy with just never having to listen to Relayted again. I'll be sure to let you know if I have some sort of unlikely epiphany.

Track List:
1. The Gaudy Side of Town
2. The Walker
3. Cry
4. No Sweat
5. False Bottom
6. The Beatdown
7. Crystal Rope
8. Spanish Platinum
9. Faded High
10. Ride
11. The Last Prom on Earth