Hey prospective musicians, here’s a hint: when naming the products that represent your artistic career, choosing a band name like Porno For Pyros or naming your album Morgan Freeman’s Psychedelic Semen may be funny if you’re 13, but if you want the music industry and your audience to take you seriously, avoid an easy gimmick and actually concentrate on creating something respectable. When your songs are titled “How We Stole Jack White’s Tesla Coil” or “Don’t Bum Rush the Avocado,” it sets the listener up for an extended joke; one that’s usually not funny past track one. Unsurprisingly, that is the case with Beware! The Other Head of Science.

There’s a great line from 30 Rock where Jack Donaghy advises Liz Lemon: “Don’t be cute, you’re too old for that.” Beware! are not only too old, they’re too late. Their musical mixture of quirky, chaotic tunes with combo pop-punk and screamo vocals are not only an odd fit for those old enough to grow facial hair, it’s an anachronistic sound. Atom and His Package cornered the eccentric/stupid synth-punk market years ago; they also did it better. The majority of Big American Godzilla Party sounds like the soundtrack for an Atari video game, and the player just can’t get past level one… Hearing the same tune over and over again, with what sounds like a MIDI synth and literally non-stop AFI-like background “ooohing,” is straight-up maddening. The unstructured element of most of the songs doesn’t help Beware!’s cause, nor does the poor production. The recording quality sounds like they’re playing Tuesday night in a no-name bar; and nobody is clapping.

The funny thing is, these guys are actually great live. I caught one of their sets about a year ago, and really enjoyed their sound. Video clips of their other shows demonstrate that the show wasn’t a fluke; their offbeat, improvisational style and energy elevates the music. Unfortunately it just doesn’t translate to this record. There’s something endearing about Beware!—you want to like them, you really do. Steampunk-pop even sounds like a good idea for a track or two. They’re like that slightly cute dorky guy where you think: hey, maybe something can happen here, maybe something can work out. Then he starts picking his nose. And doesn’t stop. There is sometimes a time and place for Beware!’s genre, for stupid, funny music with song titles that reference South Park (“Phase 3: Profits”). But their repetitive nature, overused gimmicks, and their general attitude toward songwriting, falls flat in Big American Godzilla Party.

There is one standout track on the album: “Winter Coats.” Here the band finds a rhythm, follows a beat, and shows restraint: not a single background singer “ooohing”! So instead of sounding like a cacophonous coalition of one-man hobo bands with bass drums strapped to their backs and a pair cymbals taped to their knees, there is a fun, goofy, and most importantly, listenable song—about not shaving, I think.

We are all capable of deluding ourselves into trying to make it work with the dorky guy, but Big American’s tracks are too repetitive and indistinguishable. A little restraint, more rhythm, and perhaps an updated version of GarageBand—possibly one that includes a set of decent mics—would catapult Beware! to the next level.

Track List:
1. Teddy Roosevelt's Modded Mac Book Pro Pt 1
2. Champ
3. Phase 3: Profits
4. Don't Bum Rush the Avocado
5. Origins of El Chupacabre
6. Teddy Roosevelt's Modded Mac Book Pro Pt2
7. Front Row Seats for the Great Beast
8. Winter Coats
9. How We Stole Jack White's Tesla Coil
10. Take Off Your Riot Gear and Get in the Shower